Please Read The Description it's very important to me


sticks and stones may break my bones
but words may break my heart

One week for a photocontest, the theme was "What I don't show". I knew what I had to do for it the moment I heard of it, but I tried to rack my brain for other ideas. Everyone has something they don't show. Some might be more obvious than others, but they are all things we are ashamed of. I wish I could not be. This helped me, a bit.

I decided to photograph my hand.
To get deeper:

I was born a premature baby. A premie, 5 lbs. The doctors diagnosed me with mild cerebral palsey on my right side. They told my parents they weren't sure if I would walk. I did, right around the "normal" time. I did everything everyone said I could not do. I spent my life with parents who didn't treat me any different. Then I was pushed into the world where as soon as everyone found out, I was "stupid", or "retarded" and the laughing stock of the school.

Cerebral Palsey affects the nervous system. When I get really nervous I tend to curl my right hand in a fist. If I am not, I can relax. My ex boyfriend got me so comfortable he could hold my right hand and I wouldn't flinch. It isn't even noticeable half the time. But it's people's reactions that kill me.

Everytime I have been hated, rejected, laughed at, starred at, everytime
I thought it was because of the disorder. The funny thing is it probably never was.

But because of times when I was outright teased and laughed at because of it, it has stuck out like a bruise on a banana to me. I started treating it like it was a bad part of me, like another part, the "bad hand". It was what I found to be the ugliest part of my whole body. My existance.

I'm starting to accept it. And if people say I can't do something, I prove it. From going across the monkey bars, to running, to jumping, to opening jar lids.

People infuriate me, but they also inspire me. I want to thank Ana who runs the community [link] for unleashing my demons, for making me look them in the eye and stab them with a spoon.

I can't completly look at this without flinching.
But I am going to be brave. And press the continue button.




Never be ashamed of who you are.
It's your differences that make you beautiful.


Someday I'll be able to tell myself that.