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©2004-2009 ~tangledseaweed
:icontangledseaweed:

Artist's Comments

Please Read The Description it's very important to me


sticks and stones may break my bones
but words may break my heart


One week for a photocontest, the theme was "What I don't show". I knew what I had to do for it the moment I heard of it, but I tried to rack my brain for other ideas. Everyone has something they don't show. Some might be more obvious than others, but they are all things we are ashamed of. I wish I could not be. This helped me, a bit.

I decided to photograph my hand.
To get deeper:

I was born a premature baby. A premie, 5 lbs. The doctors diagnosed me with mild cerebral palsey on my right side. They told my parents they weren't sure if I would walk. I did, right around the "normal" time. I did everything everyone said I could not do. I spent my life with parents who didn't treat me any different. Then I was pushed into the world where as soon as everyone found out, I was "stupid", or "retarded" and the laughing stock of the school.

Cerebral Palsey affects the nervous system. When I get really nervous I tend to curl my right hand in a fist. If I am not, I can relax. My ex boyfriend got me so comfortable he could hold my right hand and I wouldn't flinch. It isn't even noticeable half the time. But it's people's reactions that kill me.

Everytime I have been hated, rejected, laughed at, starred at, everytime
I thought it was because of the disorder. The funny thing is it probably never was.

But because of times when I was outright teased and laughed at because of it, it has stuck out like a bruise on a banana to me. I started treating it like it was a bad part of me, like another part, the "bad hand". It was what I found to be the ugliest part of my whole body. My existance.

I'm starting to accept it. And if people say I can't do something, I prove it. From going across the monkey bars, to running, to jumping, to opening jar lids.

People infuriate me, but they also inspire me. I want to thank Ana who runs the community [link] for unleashing my demons, for making me look them in the eye and stab them with a spoon.

I can't completly look at this without flinching.
But I am going to be brave. And press the continue button.




Never be ashamed of who you are.
It's your differences that make you beautiful.


Someday I'll be able to tell myself that.

Comments


love 2 2 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconherzurcness:
Wow...very stunning and beautiful words you have written there, and a moving photo. I'm glad that you're starting to accept it, and not worrying about stupid people who tease. They aren't trying to be hurtful, they just step on what they don't understand. And you're right about differences making people beautiful. :clap:

--
+ I've seen the nations rise and fall
but love's the only engine of survival +
- Leonard Cohen
:iconlalianna-nyrobi:
WOW...you are a brave and beautiful woman....Take the world head on and you will go far...Prove to those who teased you that the sky is the limit for ANYone....Believe in yourself. Somany people are afraid of what they cannot understand. You seem to be a strong person....strong enough to show them that no matter what happens...anyone can succed..
:iconsoulshadow:
I have to applaud you. Many would allow themselves to be dragged down by the comments and constant torture of those around us but you have done what few learn to... ignore them and live your life.
You absolutely have not nothing to be ashamed of... and the cruel bastards out in the world can go to hell.
:iconshichimidori:
Dude, If there is one thing I would NEVER do make fun of your or anyone with a condition. i was also a premature baby, 2 lb 8oz- but quickly lost to 1 lb 4oz..

I was also born with a condition called Hydrocepholitus, it afftect the amouth of brain fluid I have in my head, and I know EXACCLY how you feel, I have gone threw the same pain, and neglection from people, but my family, I was blessed with a good family...

When I was younger I did not learn to walk or talk till I was 18 months old (mom said) and I have been in the Speacial Education for 1o years of my school life, now starting collage I will have to go back.

Live your life well as you have, and find courage in your self to move on, you just have something extra god gave you....and were are all not alike, God makes speacial people, and you are one of them, and he picks people like that because he knows they are the ones who can survive life stronger then the ones who are too blind to see the person inside - i am glad you desided to put this, more power to you, this could incourage others to be proud of who they are...and I hope Im not the only one who sees this-Midori :orange:

--
"Ich wundere mich wie weit es ist zu sonne wenn du ihr entgegen rennst"
:icontangledseaweed:
thank you so much for your comments and for sharing that with me. :hug: i like knowing i am not alone. it can be hard but i think of us like warriors.

i also think that everyone has things to deal with, things they hide. they mght not be as obvious but we all have insecurities..

what i cant stand is being thought retarded. i had a friend who had CP completly, and she was a genious. she had speech problems, and couldn't control the movements of her body but she was so smart. (well still is i imagine :D) i guess that not everyone realizes it..some people are so quick to judge, you know?

thats why i try not to.

thank you again. :hug: :hug:

--

Our hearts were made of the same
materials: paper, poppies,

a handful of stars.


my writing
my stock
:icontangledseaweed:
yeah it took a long time..and i still have a way to go. But like you said, they can just go jump off a cliff for all i care. grrr. they are the stupid ones, not me. ;) :hug:

--

Our hearts were made of the same
materials: paper, poppies,

a handful of stars.


my writing
my stock
:icontangledseaweed:
thank you so much.
yes thats what i think. that people are afraid of what they dont understand.

yes the sky is the limit. people with bigger things in their way have succeeded in the past so i don't see why i can't. :)

i forget his name but there is this guy, a salesman, and he has the same thing i do, a bit more than me, becase i think it affects his speech and some other stuff. but anyway., they did a tv movie on him for TNT because he did what he wanted to with his life no matter what people tell him. i want to meet him someday because finding out about that made me cry, happily, it was like a smack in the face. that i could, too. that he just went out there and did what he wanted even when people said he couldn't. :)

--

Our hearts were made of the same
materials: paper, poppies,

a handful of stars.


my writing
my stock
:icontangledseaweed:
well some were in the past, trying to be hurtful. but i know what you mean. they don't understand. it's all fear.

& thank you :) :hug:

--

Our hearts were made of the same
materials: paper, poppies,

a handful of stars.


my writing
my stock
:iconshichimidori:
I am one, really smart person, but put pressur on , I freak, A LOT of people thought me retarted, and alot of the things we take for granted like walking talking and moter skills :my right side is off a little:- But i think I may put a picture of my scar form my surgurys on this...alot of people thing i have a cute belly, but once they see the scar theyturn the other way, hehe I find it kinda sexy now ^^

Iv hurd of a lot of people with my condition accutaly being retarted and are called :water heads:- because their heads are littlerly filled with Fluid, because mine was cought, I lost that look, but alot are retated and also have Spinal Biffita, with it, so I thank god for what i was blessed with and dont take crap from anyone...and I am so sweet to people who har handycap or whathave what not, it makes me want to cry because I could have been one of them..so thats why I find makeing fun of others really wrong....and you have no idea what that person is capable of acheaving-Midori :orange:

--
"Ich wundere mich wie weit es ist zu sonne wenn du ihr entgegen rennst"
:iconlalianna-nyrobi:
I remember seeing that special on him...very inspirational...Im sure you'll succed just the same =)

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June 12, 2004
284 KB
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OLYMPUS OPTICAL CO.,LTD
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5 mm
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